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Does New York Really Keep People Single Longer?

The percentage of Manhattan dwellers that live alone are more than 50%. The state of New York has the highest percentage of women that have never been married. In NYC, that percentage is higher. The national average for people getting married in NY is 31 for women and 33 for men. While that may be a little higher than other cities, it’s not that over the top. Men and women came to this great city because they were ambitious. They were looking to enter a fulfilling career and enjoy all the wonderment of the city.

What Women Say…

Women believe that men don’t settle down in NY because they are in a constant flow of beautiful women. Men here are ambitious and they use their money instead of their charm on dates. Men in New York are competitive about everything. Among themselves, they look to see who is with the most beautiful woman in the room. Women believe that men don’t put a lot of value on any one individual woman because they don’t have to.
Women in New York City are frankly not going to put up with games. Some would even say, they go into most courtships with an air of caution. They value their friendships and their single life too. While it’s nice to meet people, they are highly established. A relationship would be the icing on the cake but they have high expectations.

What Men say…

The sheer volume of singles in NY make you think you could meet someone at any moment. While most of the time, they don’t, it’s the notion that keeps men from focusing on just one woman. The endless search of looking for a mate gets challenging when commutes get in the way. You might think you found Mrs. Right but usually a subway distance relationship may as well be overseas in New York.
So while there are literally millions of singles, they will break down a woman’s sustainability in their life based on logistics. One man explained it like this, New York men take advantage of any opportunity. They know that they can date successfully until they’re around 50 so they try.

Who is Getting Married?

A wedding planner in Brooklyn also remarked that many of the couples she has worked with will be living together for a decade before tying the knot. So that would put many couples as meeting in their early to mid-20’s. Interestingly, lawyers in New York will get married earlier than any other group of people. This may have a lot to do with a desire for stability and a certain conservatism that is connected to people going into law. That being said, lawyers traditionally marry other lawyers in New York City.

Therapists Say It’s a Good Thing to Wait

A Manhattan Marriage and Family Therapist has said that NY is all about making progress in your career, establishing yourself and then developing a relationship. The therapist said relationships really suffer when a couple comes to New York and tries to make it. The intensity of Manhattan can cause someone to crack if they have to cope with other life issues past living and working here.

What New York Singles Say

A lot of New York singles say there is a level of perfectionism at play here too. It leads to such a high level of comparison shopping that it can prevent settling down. With so many ambitious people striving for perfect matches, it’s more challenging to achieve something genuine. Everybody seems to have their foot on the brakes.

The interesting thing is people in New York are actually more interested in getting married than in most other areas of the country. According to a 2016 study, 31% of New York City singles are looking for commitments. New Yorkers tend to know what they want when they want it. They came here to focus on developing aspects of themselves first. In such a high energy city, it just takes the majority of singles a little more time to settle down.

 

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